I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking. 

I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.

I was dropped as a baby, into a pool of awesomeness and glitter.

The best thing a girl can be in this world is a beautiful little fool.

Strong is the new skinny.

Always dress like you’re going to see your worst enemy.

I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.

Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.

When the truth fails, abandon it. Make something up.

This is why I rock.

The prettiest people do the ugliest things.

The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.

You can’t fix it if it’s not broken.

I looked hot today. You missed out.

Roll with the punches.